Northern Bike Ride

Bike Ride
We had wanted to get out and about on bicycles for a few months now and hadn’t really had the chance to do a multi-day adventure but Laos offered up that chance. With a careful bit of research, well steal other people’s routes or looking at what tour companies did and follow theirs, we’d came up with a route so it was time to set off…
Day 1 – Although we were heading off on an adventurous bike ride the first day actually consisted of sitting back and watching the world and the Mekong drift past! We’d put the bikes (and ourselves) on a boat in Luang Prabang that was heading for a Thai border crossing 24 hours cruising away to the west. We were to jump off, well hopefully the boat would stop and we would disembark in a normal manner! Anyway, we would get off at the small riverside town of Pak Beng. We were lucky to be able to get the boat in the first instance as the water levels had been too low for the past few weeks for it to make the journey and today was its maiden voyage! Felt a little like a guinea pig, would the boat make it or crash and sink having hit some rocks?! It was a nice boat ride, it took about 9 hours and floated its way past small remote villages. We watched women panning for gold at the waters shore, saw small children playing in the dangerous currents without a care in the world and just generally sat back and enjoyed the ride. We arrived in Pak Beng around 6pm to be greeted by a few local hosteliers vying for our business and hoardes of locals fighting to help you with your bags, or bikes in our case, in return for a few thousand kip (a few pence). As we walked through town pushing the bikes we were joined by an Irish sounding Germany guy (very weird!) who was cycling through Laos having pedalled up through Thailand, seems like we have gained a companion already.
Day 2 – Bright, early and eager we loaded up the bikes and set off hitting our first hill out of town after about 5 minutes! Before leaving Luang Prabang Shona was worried about the rather pointy shape of her saddle and its lack of cushioning, so improvising she bought a pair of bad slippers from the night market to use as extra padding – it took about 45 minutes until she was already digging them out of her bag and trying to attach them to her saddle! I did tell her that if she had a bigger bum it would probably be more comfortable. The ride was stunning and went through some of the poorest and most rural areas we have seen but everywhere you went happy smiley locals would greet you, kids would run alongside you or out from the wooden shacks shouting ‘Saibaa Dii’ (hello). It seemed to cause great excitement to the kids, as soon as one spotted you they would call all the others and dozens of children would appear from nowhere in varying states of undress (some just naked apart from a layer of dirt!) shouting and waving at you. We covered around 86km the first day, with lots of small ups followed by lots of small downs but nothing too stressy!
We arrived in the town of Muang Beng mid afternoon and found the one and only guesthouse, you couldn’t really miss it, apart from the big yellow sign it was the one with the karaoke at full blast and a few dozen very drunk Lao people celebrating a marriage. We were instantly invited by several people to join them and their family at tables to drink beer and whiskey (the only 2 words we could understand!). We managed to dodge all offers and made our way past them all to our room, well if we were going to join a wedding party the least we could do was wash first. After a quick shower (in a very dirty outside cubicle complete with friendly spiders the size of my hand!) it wasn’t long before the less shy drunk party’ers were knocking at our room door and trying to get us out to drink…the next few hours was spent doing just that with the locals, plus trying to avoid strange meats they kept trying to ply us with inbetween whiskey shots and dancing – yep, they were almost physically dragging us up on to the dance floor (not that there was a dance floor, just a dirt patch lined with empty bottles!) but we showed them a few moves. We also had some very interesting conversations with the drunkest people there who would talk in Lao at us for a few minutes then we’d reply to them in English, we’d both laugh and everyone was happy but completely none the wiser! Thankfully the party had started around 8am (and it showed!) so come 6pm they were ready to call it a day, even the really really drunk guy who attached himself to us gave up after I challenged him to a few drinking games! We finally met the guy who’s wedding it was and he spoke good English (fancy job in Vientiane but this was his new wife’s home village). He was really nice and was very glad that we’d helped him celebrate their big day… didn’t actually have much choice, but it was good fun.
Day 3 – With a slight hangover we slowly set off around 8am, we had 65km to cover today with a couple of bigger hills to climb. I’d graciously offered to swap saddles with Shona as she was starting to walk like John Wayne and looked in a little discomfort, plus my bum is a lot bigger. Didn’t make too much difference though as I soon found out why she was complaining so much! But more stunning scenery, more villages and more children running into the road helped to take my mind off the pain! Most of the morning just breezed by, the legs were getting in to the swing of things even if the bottom wasn’t. We’d stop every now and then along route to admire views, buy more water and just to get off the saddle. Just as the day was starting to heat up, around 35 degrees, we hit a long slow climb of 5km or so but thankfully this was quickly followed with a nice long and easy stretch in to the town of Udomxai, the biggest town we’d go through on our little adventure, plus our base for the night. We arrived just in time for lunch so after a quick bite we promptly collapsed in our room for the afternoon without any drunk wedding guests to hassle us. We needed a good night’s rest as tomorrow’s ride was the biggy!
Day 4 – Having slept well we woke at around 6:30 and prepared ourselves for the big day – 88km of which nearly 35km is up hill and by up hill I mean we climb over 1,200m in total, the rest was going to be well needed downs. We’d bumped into a proper cycle tour outfit last night and as we were setting off today we saw them again, all lycra clad illuminous tops, power drinks and most annoyingly actual padded cycling shorts! About 5km out of town, as I was attending to a flat tyre (our one and only) they all smugly pedalled by with their guide, backup bikes and support vehicle! Back up and running and into a little rhythm we soon hit the start of the first climb – 25km of winding mountain road that climbed around 650m in altitude. The road in general was ok but every few hundred metres it was broken tarmac and bumpy which soon got annoying to cycle on. We reached the top of the first section around 11am, tired but not feeling too bad. The heat of the day was starting to take hold though and it was already up around 35 degrees. After a short downhill, well about 10km but it went by all too quickly, it was time to start heading up again. This time a shorter section but slightly steeper – around 15km with a 550m climb. Halfway up and I was struggling, the heat, the hill, the saddle, what else can I blame other than general lack of fitness and age?!? We stopped for lunch and all I really wanted to do was sleep, whereas Shona, although feeling a little tired, was ready to taken on the rest – somehow she went from being tired and worried about making it today to flying up the thing, show off! Possibly the longest hour of physical exercise ever and we finally made it to the top – no fanfair, no small children congratulating me, no lucozade or chocolate on offer – just a few women sitting outside wooden shacks, laughing at the sweaty foreigner on a bike, selling sugarcane (at least it wasn’t bbq squirrel like we’d seen others waving at lorry drivers as they went past!). At one point on the climb not even the sight of a random man coming out of the undergrowth with an AK47 gun slung casually over his shoulder like it was a new fashion accessory, could make me ride any quicker! Just put me out of my misery now, it’s too hot, I’m too sweaty and it’s too far, just finish it now – seems better than trying to pedal any faster! So at the top 30km of mostly down awaits us….weeeeeeeee lets go. It was bumpy and hard on the arms from all the braking and clinging on over some of the rough patches, but you didn’t have to pedal. The countryside whizzed past as did the kilometers and we were soon in the dingy town of Pak Mong, where I promptly collapsed overheated, dehydrated and well and truely ******! Sorry sometimes only expletives describe well enough a situation!